Let me ask you something: When was the last time you showed up as the real you? Not the version of you that’s polished for Instagram or curated for the world’s approval, but the raw, unfiltered, take-it-or-leave-it YOU.
Here’s the truth most people won’t tell you—perfection isn’t the goal. In fact, it’s overrated. What the world actually craves is something far more powerful and magnetic than perfection. And that, my friend, is authenticity.
Your authentic self is the secret sauce behind every truly magnetic person you’ve ever met. When you stop trying to fit into everyone else’s idea of perfect and embrace your real, imperfect self, you don’t just exist—you shine. You attract the right people, the right opportunities, and an energy that’s impossible to ignore.
So, are you ready to unlock the superpower that’s been hiding inside you all along?
Let’s dive into the path of becoming your authentic self, and trust me—it’s going to change your life.
Authenticity Meaning: How to Live as Your Authentic Self
Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the foundation of living a life that’s true to who you are. But what does it actually mean to be your authentic self?
At its core, authenticity is about showing up as the real you, unapologetically and without masks. It’s embracing every part of yourself, the good, the bad, and the messy, and owning your truth no matter what others think. It’s being vulnerable enough to say, “This is me, and I’m proud of it.”
But here’s the thing: being your authentic self doesn’t mean shouting every thought or flaw from the rooftops. It’s deeper than that. It’s about aligning your actions, words, and decisions with your values and beliefs. It’s living in a way that reflects who you are on the inside, rather than pretending to be someone you’re not just to fit in.
Being authentic means:
- Owning your truth: No more pretending, no more people-pleasing. Authenticity is about being real with yourself first and foremost, which then allows you to be real with others.
- Embracing vulnerability: Being authentic requires a willingness to be vulnerable. It’s not about having it all together—it’s about showing up as you are, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Letting go of perfectionism: Perfectionism is a barrier to authenticity. When you’re authentic, you let go of the need to be perfect because you understand that your imperfections are what make you human—and beautiful.
In a world that’s constantly trying to mold you into something you’re not, authenticity is your act of rebellion. It’s choosing to live in alignment with your truth, even if it means standing out or going against the grain. And that? That’s where true power and freedom lie.
Authenticity isn’t just about being yourself—it’s about becoming the truest version of yourself, the one that lights up from within and radiates that energy into the world.
Why Authenticity is the New Perfection
First things first: let’s redefine what it means to be “perfect.”
Society’s version of perfection is a polished, flawless image that leaves no room for mistakes, vulnerability, or growth. But the truth is, authenticity is the new perfection. When you’re living as your authentic self, you don’t need to conform to anyone’s standards. You simply show up as YOU, and that’s more than enough.
In fact, authenticity is a superpower.
Here’s why:
- It’s the highest form of self-love. Loving yourself means accepting every part of who you are—your light, your shadow, your quirks, and your imperfections.
- It makes you magnetic. People are naturally drawn to those who are real and unafraid to show their true selves. When you’re authentic, you give others permission to be authentic, too. It’s a ripple effect that transforms relationships and deepens connections.
- It leads to your soul’s purpose. Living as your authentic self aligns you with your soul’s purpose. You stop chasing external validation and start living a life that feels right for you—whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal growth.
Being your authentic self isn’t just about being honest with others; it’s about being radically honest with yourself.
Let’s start with that.
5 Practical Steps to Become Your Authentic Self
Step 1: Get to Know Yourself on a Deep Level
Becoming your most authentic self starts with deep self-awareness.
You can’t be authentic if you don’t truly understand who you are, right?
This is where you dig into your core values, desires, personality traits, and even your likes and dislikes.
These are the building blocks of authenticity.
Core Values: These are the non-negotiable principles that guide your life. Is freedom your priority? Integrity? Compassion? Knowing your values gives you a roadmap for living in alignment with your authentic self.
Ask yourself: “What do I value most in myself, in others, and in my relationships?“
Desires: What lights you up? What do you truly want? And I’m not talking about what society tells you to want. I’m talking about those deep-down desires that make your heart sing.
To get clear on your desires, journal on this question: “If I had unlimited time, resources, and support, what would I choose to do with my life?“
Personality Traits: Your quirks are what make you YOU. Whether you’re the life of the party or more introspective, every trait adds flavor to your authentic self. Own it!
Take personality tests like the 16 Personalities test, the Big Five Personality Traits (OCEAN), or the Enneagram to explore yourself deeper. You can also learn about yourself through Human Design, which is very powerful. Or you can find out your Dharma archetypes, which will help you see how your soul’s purpose likes to show itself.
(If you need help with understanding what your archetypes really mean for you and how you can use them to live your soul’s purpose you can book a free discovery call to gain clarity on your next move.)
Likes and Dislikes: Here’s a challenge for you—separate your true likes from the ones you’ve adopted to fit in or please others. Sometimes we take on preferences just to blend in, but authenticity means honoring what genuinely brings you joy.
Step 2: Break Free from What’s Holding You Back
Here’s the thing—becoming your authentic self isn’t always easy. You’ve got fears, limiting beliefs, and external pressures standing in your way.
You know what I’m talking about—those sneaky little fears, limiting beliefs, and external pressures that have you second-guessing yourself every step of the way.
But here’s the good news: you can break free from all of that.
And when you do, you’ll unlock a whole new level of confidence, freedom, and magnetism.
Face Your Fears Head-On
Fear is the number one culprit behind inauthenticity. We’re scared of not fitting in, being judged, or not being good enough. But the truth is, those fears are just stories you’ve been telling yourself—stories that are no longer serving you.
Ever heard of F.E.A.R? F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real.
Fears are actually messengers, that are telling you that a particular belief is not aligned with who you truly are. And when you listen to that message it will go away.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Listen to your fears: What beliefs are holding you back from showing up as your true self? Write it down. Whether it’s the fear of judgment, fear of failure, or fear of not being loved, get clear on what’s standing in your way.
- Challenge your fears: Now that you know what they are, it’s time to see how are they out of alignment. Ask yourself: Is this fear really true? Can you find evidence that proves the opposite? (Spoiler alert: You always can!)
- Take action anyway: Feel the fear, and do it anyway. Start small—say no to something that doesn’t align with your values, or share a vulnerable truth with someone you trust. The more you face your fears, the quieter they get.
Let Go of External Expectations
This one’s huge.
How many times have you done something because you felt like you should? Maybe it’s following a certain career path, behaving a certain way in relationships, or even dressing to impress others. But when you live for external validation, you lose sight of your authentic self.
Take back your power by doing this:
- Start saying no: If something doesn’t align with your values or desires, it’s a NO. No more bending over backward to meet someone else’s expectations.
- Get comfortable disappointing others: Newsflash—you’re not going to make everyone happy. And that’s okay! The right people will respect and love you for living your truth, not for trying to please everyone around you.
So, are you ready to break free?
Remember: the only thing standing between you and your most authentic self is the story you’ve been telling yourself.
And you? You have the power to rewrite it.
Step 3: Speak Your Truth with Confidence
Now that you’re getting clear on who you are, it’s time to start speaking your truth.
Living as your authentic self isn’t just about knowing who you are inside—it’s about expressing that truth outwardly with boldness and confidence. And yes, this can be scary, but trust me, it’s one of the most empowering things you’ll ever do.
The magic? It happens when your words align with your soul.
Start by Getting Honest with Yourself
Before you can speak your truth to others, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
Are you living in alignment with your values?
Are you honest with yourself about what you truly want?
Are there areas in your life where you’re holding back or playing small because you’re afraid of what others might think?
Here’s what you can do:
- Journal it out: Spend some time reflecting on where you’re holding back or avoiding the truth. Ask yourself: Where am I not being fully honest with myself? and What truths am I avoiding in my life?
- Make a vow of radical honesty: Promise yourself that from now on, you will show up 100% real. No sugarcoating, no hiding, no dimming your light to make others comfortable.
Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
How you talk to yourself matters. Replace limiting self-talk with empowering affirmations. Stop saying, “I’m not good enough,” and start saying, “I am worthy of love and success as I am.”
Shift your language and try “I get to” instead of “I have to”—this simple shift changes your mindset from burdened to empowered.
Be real, not perfect
Speaking your truth isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real. Vulnerability is key to building authentic connections. Share your feelings, even when it’s hard.
For example, instead of saying “I’m fine,” express how you truly feel.
Practice Speaking Your Truth (Start Small)
You don’t have to start with a TED Talk or a heart-to-heart with your boss. Begin in small, safe spaces—like with your best friend, partner, or even in your journal. Speaking your truth can feel vulnerable, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Here’s how to get started:
- Pick one area where you’ve been holding back: Maybe you’ve been agreeing to plans that drain you, or maybe you’ve been quiet about your needs in a relationship. Start by voicing one of those truths. Example: “I need more alone time to recharge, and I’m going to start prioritizing that.”
- Set boundaries with your words: This is big. Speaking your truth means saying “no” when you need to. If something doesn’t align with your values or desires, it’s time to practice that sacred word: NO. And no, you don’t need to justify it.
- Use “I” statements: Authenticity doesn’t mean being confrontational. Speak from your heart, and focus on your experience, not blaming others. This keeps the conversation open and empathetic. For example, “I feel unheard when my ideas are dismissed.” Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be a big help in this.
- Watch how your relationships transform. When you show up as your authentic self, you create space for deeper, more meaningful connections. Vulnerability is the key ingredient to building trust and intimacy.
Own Your Truth, Even When It’s Hard
Speaking your truth with confidence doesn’t mean everyone will love it. In fact, some people might not like it at all—and that’s okay. You have to be willing to stand by your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Not everyone will vibe with the real you, and that’s their issue, not yours.
Here’s what you need to remember:
- Not everyone will get it: And that’s okay. The right people will resonate with your truth and appreciate your authenticity. The wrong people? They’ll either adjust or move on—and you’ll be better off for it.
- Stand firm: When you speak your truth, stick with it. Don’t backtrack or apologize for being real. You are worthy of expressing your needs, desires, and feelings without needing approval from others.
Step 4: Take Bold, Authentic Action
Here’s where things get real.
Knowing who you are and speaking your truth is powerful, but true transformation comes when you start living authentically.
That means taking action that aligns with your true self, even if it feels scary at first.
Set Boundaries
Your authentic self knows what’s best for you, so don’t be afraid to set boundaries.
For example, I protect my mornings fiercely—no interruptions until 9 AM, because that’s my sacred time to align with myself.
What boundaries do you need to set in your life?
Embrace Discomfort
Growth happens outside of your comfort zone, and being authentic means leaning into those moments of discomfort.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
The more you practice stepping into discomfort, the easier it becomes to live authentically.
Take Risks
Authenticity often requires you to take risks.
Whether it’s leaving a job that no longer aligns with who you are or pursuing a passion project that scares you, taking risks is essential to living a life that’s true to you.
For me, that meant leaving a high-paying 9-to-5 job to pursue my dream of being a coach. It was terrifying, but deep down, I knew it was the right move for my authentic self, because I am here to be a coach. I am here to help people love themselves more.
Follow your joy
Notice what excites you. What activities make you lose track of time? What experiences fill you with energy instead of draining it? That’s your joy talking, and it’s a huge clue to your authentic self.
Joy isn’t something you have to “earn” after completing your to-do list.
It’s the compass for being your authentic self. The more you prioritize joy, the more aligned and fulfilled you’ll feel.
So here’s what you can do: Carve out time every day for activities that bring you happiness—whether it’s dancing, painting, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in peace. Make it a priority, not an afterthought. This will actually signal to your subconscious that your authentic self is a priority, which will make it more easy to live authentically. For me just a simple shift in playing my piano in the morning instead of the evening is my way of living more authentically. Because I am prioritizing my authentic self, who loves the piano.
Want a fun and powerful exercise? Close your eyes and envision your most authentic self. What does she look like? How does she carry herself? What choices does she make? Then, start living as her today. Maybe it’s dressing in a way that makes you feel most like yourself or making decisions that honor your values. Little by little, you’ll become more aligned with your true self.
Step 5: Seek Support on Your Journey
Let’s be real—going solo on the path to authenticity?
It’s tough.
The journey to becoming your true self is full of twists, challenges, and moments where you need someone in your corner to cheer you on, push you forward, or give you a reality check. That’s why seeking support isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Whether it’s a coach, a mentor, or a group of like-minded people, the right support can accelerate your growth and keep you grounded in your truth.
Get a Coach Who Gets You
A coach is like having your personal guide through the maze of self-discovery. They don’t just hype you up (though, that’s awesome too); they help you cut through the noise, break past limiting beliefs, and stay laser-focused on your goals. A coach knows when to push you, when to challenge you, and when to celebrate every win—big or small.
So find a coach, or any other type of mentor who resonates with your journey and speaks to your soul. Whether it’s for life, business, or personal growth, having someone in your corner who gets your struggles and dreams can fast-track your transformation.
Join a Tribe That Lifts You Up
There’s nothing like the energy of a community that gets it.
When you surround yourself with people who are also on the path to authenticity, it’s like finding your tribe. You’ll feel supported, seen, and inspired to keep showing up as the real you—because they’re doing the same thing.
Seek out communities (online or offline) that celebrate authenticity. Whether it’s a mastermind, a spiritual group, or even a fitness squad, surround yourself with people who encourage you to be unapologetically YOU.
Surround Yourself with High-Vibe Energy
You are the energy you keep.
If the people around you are dragging you down or making you second-guess yourself, it’s time to set some boundaries. When you’re on a mission to live authentically and to become magnetic, you need to be surrounded by people who lift you up, fuel your energy, and inspire you to keep going.
This is a tough action, but might worth to take it: Take inventory of your relationships. Do they energize or drain you? Start spending more time with those who fill your cup and help you shine, and set boundaries with those who hold you back.
Recap: Your Roadmap to Become Your Authentic Self
Here’s a quick recap of everything we’ve covered:
- Get to Know Yourself: Dig deep into your core values, desires, personality traits, and preferences.
- Break Free from What’s Holding You Back: Identify and challenge your fears, limiting beliefs, and perfectionist tendencies.
- Speak Your Truth: Practice radical honesty with yourself and others.
- Take Bold, Authentic Action: Set boundaries, embrace discomfort, and take risks to live in alignment with your authentic self.
- Seek Support: Find a coach, mentor, or supportive community to guide you on your journey.
Remember, this journey isn’t always linear. You might find yourself revisiting certain steps as you grow and evolve. And that’s okay! Authenticity is a lifelong practice, not a destination
The 2 Biggest Lessons to Take Away
As we wrap up, there are two massive lessons I want you to hold onto as you step into your authentic self:
1. Authenticity Is Your Superpower
When you embrace who you truly are—quirks, flaws, strengths, and all—you unlock a level of magnetism that no amount of perfection can ever give you. Authenticity isn’t about being flawless; it’s about being real, raw, and unapologetically YOU. The world doesn’t need another perfect image—it needs the real you. So, let go of the masks, the people-pleasing, and the perfectionism, and watch as the right people, opportunities, and abundance flow to you.
2. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Transformation is hard, but you don’t have to go through it on your own. Surround yourself with the right people—a coach, a community, or accountability partners who can cheer you on, challenge you, and keep you on track. Seeking support isn’t a weakness; it’s the rocket fuel that speeds up your growth and makes the journey more fulfilling. Remember, the more supported you are, the more powerful your transformation will be.
Living authentically isn’t a destination—it’s a journey. And every day, with every decision, you have the power to align more deeply with your true self. So, take these lessons with you: Be unapologetically authentic, seek support when you need it, and trust that the more you show up as the real you, the more life will reward you in ways you never imagined. Keep going—you’ve got this!